How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
