I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
