I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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