one word: firstdatebathroomanal
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
