Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
