I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
