How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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