ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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