In the future we'll all be gay
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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