well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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