She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
