My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
worst night to have a conscience
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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