Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize