I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
