I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You work out of a Hotel?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize