Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize