Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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