yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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