I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize
