i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Still dying that you shit outside
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
