OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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