Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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