i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
