This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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