I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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