At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
