I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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