i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You can't motorboat a personality
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
