I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
