Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize