He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just want to make out with him forever
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
