His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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