I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
