You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
