She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
