Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
