YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
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