seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
