Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
