Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
