Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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