i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
