just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
