I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
