Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
