I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
