you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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