i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
