so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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