No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
