its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize