I feel like abortions should bother me more
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
