I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
