He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
