I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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