Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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