...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
