i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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