SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
