playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize