Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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