is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
