Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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