I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
