Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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