Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
