and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
